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Van Damme To Beat Up Fedor In A Cage

Karate PosterIt was inevitable. Sooner or later, Jean Claude Van Damme was going to do some kind of MMA-related movie, and it looks like that day is finally coming when his latest flick, Karate, releases in 2010.

Apparently, the movie is based on a world karate champion (Van Damme) who lets all the fame and fortune destroy his life. In an effort to reclaim his former glory, “The Piston” (haha) embarks on a quest fighting in Japan before ultimately making it back in the States to fight for the “prestigious freestyle mega fighting championship in Las Vegas.” (Ha, so far fetched, like some karate guy could ever compete with professional mixed martial artists)

Of course, no Van Damme movie would be complete without an epic battle against the baddest looking son-of-a-bitch the casting director could find. Well, except this time, maybe. Instead of another Chong Li or Tong Po, they may be going in a different direction. How about a 6’0″ 230lbs unassuming Russian who’s a little on the pudgy side. Yep, I’m talking about Fedor, and he’s rumored to be playing the fighter “The Piston” faces in the final battle. His character’s name? Oh, you’re gonna love this, it’s brilliant, “The Bulldozer.” Also, the fighter Fedor bulldozed in real life, Andrei Arlovski, is believed to be appearing in the movie as a character named Vladimir.

If you’re a little skeptical about Karate, please allow me to share with you what the publicists said about it.

“This classic, gritty, riches-to-rags-to-riches story has a heartfelt, nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat finale. It is one of the greatest fight movies of all time, appealing to a wide-ranging, new-generation audience and especially to the millions of karate and martial arts fans around the world who are hungry for a new martial arts epic in the tradition of ‘Bloodsport'”.

Did you hear that? “One of the greatest fight movies of all time…in the tradition of Bloodsport.” Hooollee shit, 2010 can’t come soon enough!

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