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War Machine Is A Wanted Man

War MachineI was hoping to avoid writing about War Machine’s latest trouble with the law, but the news is slow and this story is getting crazier by the minute so hear it goes.

As you probably know, War Machine decided a few weeks ago that a career in porn would lead him down a path of eternal happiness, but surprise surprise, all it’s done is land him in more hot water with authorities.

The short version of what went down: WM attended an industry party this past weekend. At some point during the night, War apparently got into it with his porn agent for not getting him enough work and allegedly roughed up his pornstar girlfriend, who later denied it happened. A bunch of dudes at the party confronted him, and as War described it, he went into “kill mode” and started beating them all up. His agent, Derek Hay, was apparently the primary target. War eventually got to him and roughed him up a little. The cops were called and WM split.

Then yesterday, KVBC, a CBS news affiliate in Las Vegas, posted this bulletin titled “Manhunt Monday: Jon Koppenhaver.”

A man who trained to use choke-holds in the fighting ring is accused of beating and choking his girlfriend.

According to Metro, 28-year-old Jonathan Koppenhaver got into a violent fight with his girlfriend and attempted to strangle her.

He also has a record that includes obstructing a police officer and possession of a stolen firearm.

Koppenhaver is a white adult male standing 5’11” tall and weighing 185 pounds with brown hair and brown eyes.

His last known address was in the 5000 block of West Hacienda in Las Vegas.

Koppenhaver goes by the names “War Machine” and “War Hammer,” and also has a very distinctive hand grenade tattoo on the left side of the neck

Metro says Koppenhaver should be considered armed and dangerous. Anyone with information is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 385-5555.

Now according to WM, he was merely acting in self-defense, and says it was another case of people trying to get their 15-minutes of fame at his expense.

“Really sick of everyone targeting me all the time. All I ever do is want to have a good time. But it never fails that someone has to f*ck with me. Everyone wants their 15 mins of fame and at my cost. When a 6’5’’ 330lb bouncer picks a fight with me and I hit him once and take him down. I’m the bad guy? When a bunch of wanna be mobster porn agent f*ckin pimps surround me at a party cussing at me and shit and I am forced into war mode I’m the bad guy? Just because I am tough doesn’t mean I don’t get scared. Giant 300+ pounders intimidate me. Groups of dudes cussing at me and surrounding me intimidate me. I don’t want to get hurt. Wat if the giant dude or the group of men would have smashed me? It easily could have happened. Then they’d be the ones in trouble. So just because I’m capable/lucky enough to win against those odds Im a criminal? That’s bullshit and not right. Just because I’m a pro fighter doesn’t mean I have to lay down and let people hurt me. Everyone will see in the end when I beat my cases because I’m ALLOWED to defend myself that I am not the f*cking “monster” I’m a good person. G’nite.

PS Thanks for all my Birthday wishes. Tomorrow I talk to the cops to get this shit straightened out.”

War Machine posted this late last night, so he may have already turned himself in. He also tweeted at one point, “I love wasting money on bail….lol,” which led me to believe he had already been in jail and got out on bail, but now I’m thinking he was just foreshadowing what is coming.

Either way, if a judge determines he is guilty of assault and battery and whatever else he might be charged with, jail time definitely seems like a real possibility with his prior offenses. And to be honest, that’s probably for the best considering the very self-destructive claims he recently made which included his desire to kill innocent people when he exits this life. I can understand if he was just trying to defend himself in this latest incident, but based on everything he’s done and said before, the dude obviously needs some help and/or put in a place where he’s shielded from society before he seriously injures or even worse kills an innocent person.

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