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War Machine Struggles To Find A Decent Conversation Behind Bars

Looks like we won’t have to wait a whole year to hear about War Machine’s stint in San Diego county jail. Apparently even inmates get internet access these days, or at least long enough access to maintain a weekly blog about their time behind bars.

War Machine’s first entry takes us through his first week in county lockup. War says they offered him the Lindsay Lohan treatment but he turned it down because he wanted the authentic jail experience. So instead of spending 52 weeks in segregation, he’s doing his time with a bunch of murderers waiting to go to prison, who by the way, War finds to be the most friendly and intelligent ones of the bunch. War was also introduced to “jail politics” which seems pretty simple. Stick to your own race and don’t mess with other ones. Clearly, the civil rights movement has yet to reach the slammer. Other than that, War says it’s been pretty boring. He’s fielding a lot of questions about fighting and requests to teach them “moves,” but sadly, he’s not allowed to hold impromptu MMA classes.

So far, War actually sounds happier serving his one-year sentence than he did before he got locked up. Really, his only complaint is he can’t seem to find anyone to have a decent conversation with. If you so desire, you can help fill that void by sending War an email. Details at the bottom of his week one post.

What’s up guys!? I’m gonna do a weekly blog for this year while I’m locked up. Just want to keep y’all posted and give you some insight on what it’s like here for me. When I first got here I was told I was gonna be kept in segregation to pretect myself since I’m a “celebrity.” I told them NO WAY! 23 hours a day lockdown? FUCK THAT! So they stuck me in the “mainline.” They classified me a 5 on a scale 1-6 so I’m with the big dogs. Everyone here has been to prison. Few guys in my unit are murderers waiting to be shipped out to prison for life. Funny, kinda odd, but they are the most friendly of the bunch… Most intelligent too. Hardest thing about this place is finding people you can have a decent conversation with.

So when you first get here you learn the rules, jail politics. You got the Whites, the Mexicans, and the Blacks + others. Whites and Mex share tables for recreation but you only eat show at your designated race’s table. You never sit at the Blacks table and vice-versa, but you can talk to them here in County Jail. If a Mex or White fights a Black, all the Mex and Whites are required to jump in. One on one fights are only allowed against your own race and take place in an empty cell. I think it’s dumb. I’m not trying to fight anyone and can care less abotu who fights who. I hope no big rumbles happen… I can’t afford more trouble. Buttt if you don’t help, you get jumped afterwards. Maybe I’ll just throw body shots and leg kicks so I don’t hurt anyone… Anyway so far all is well.

I’m bored a lot, just been reading and working out to stay busy. All the guys here are cool to me, I get a lot of questions about fighting. Seems everyone wants to learn some “moves.” I wish we could train here, would make it way more fun… lol. So yeah, anyway I don’t see anyone fucking with ME… Only way BS goes down is if I get drug into someone elses lame drama. Well that is that! Week 1 in a nut shell. Look forward to keeping you guys updated. Can’t wait to get out and fight for all my fans again! Can’t wait to open my gym in Austin! Thanks for standing by me. If you go to you can e-mail me. Booking # 10754342 Jon Koppenhaver.


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