When you’re a 41 year old professional boxer, there’s basically only one way you’re going to get yourself a UFC contract. Publicly talk your way into it, because the UFC sure as hell isn’t going to come looking for you. That’s what James Toney has been doing for the past few months, and it appears to be working because Dana White is willing to sit down and talk.

“I’m here. We can do this. I was waiting for [Dana White] to give me a call and quit dodging me,” Toney told Ariel Helwani from AOL FanHouse. “This will be the biggest fight ever, period. The biggest event.”

“Of all the guys they’ve tried to bring [over] from boxing, either guy who were shot or too old. James Toney is the real deal,” White told Rogers SportsNet’s Joe Ferraro. “He’s a nasty, mean dude. We’re going to sit down and talk tonight.”

I’m not really sure what makes James Toney “the real deal” in Dana White’s eyes. From what I gather, he was a great fighter back in the day and Ray Mercer proved last year that an aging boxer is still dangerous, but let’s be serious, Dana isn’t going to bring him in to make a title run. There’s one fight for Toney that makes sense, Kimbo Slice, and Toney is already talking trash.

Update: Toney isn’t worried about making any friends with these quotes.

PC: A lot of fans are saying it’s a different ball game getting punched in the face with 4 oz. gloves opposed to the 10 to 12 oz. gloves that you are accustomed to.

JT: I would be wearing 4 oz. gloves? They see what I did to peoples face with 10 oz. gloves, right? My chin is great dog! I ain’t even worried about that. Just show them the video tape of these fighters after I finish hitting them with 4 oz. gloves. They gotta get this shit together man; can’t nobody see me in this game. They talking about ground game? That don’t mean nothing to me dog. Number one, I ain’t going to allow none of them boys to lay on top of me like a lil’ fag, you know what I’m saying? You know what the UFC really stand for, don’t you?

PC: I know what it stands for, but I’m sure you have something clever.

JT: Ultimate Fucking Chumps or Ultimate Fighting Cocksuckers, whatever you want to call it. It is what it is and now I have put the ball in Dana’s court and if he doesn’t do it, everybody will know he’s scared.

He’s really pulling it out all the stops to get himself a big payday in the UFC. Some of his comments have been so outlandish it’s hard to take him seriously, but it still kind of makes you want to see him fight someone like Lesnar or Carwin who will take him down and maul him, doesn’t it?