Nick Diaz may have urinated into a cup and destroyed his income potential for the next twelve months, but this article isn’t about that. No, it’s about how, if the UFC had made an immediate rematch between Diaz and Carlos Condit – so soon after their UFC 143 scrap that the Stockton native’s marijuana-infused piss was likely still warm as it sat on a shelf in the lab – that it would’ve been bad. “Bad” as in, pointless. “Bad” as in, disingenuous. “Bad” as in, please, Dana White, give us a freakin’ break.

When Diaz spent five rounds chasing after an elusive Condit for the interim welterweight title, unable to unload his patented (and it really is patented – I checked with the United States Patent and Trademark Office in Alexandria, Virginia) barrage of Pitter-Patter Punches of Doom ™, a few things were proven to the world. First, that, unlike those before him, Condit had devised a foolproof plan to avoid getting destroyed, and he was more than able to stick to it. Second, that when faced with an opponent he couldn’t trap against the cage or taunt and insult into standing and trading, Diaz didn’t have the wherewithal to change it up and shoot for takedowns (maybe he was too high?). And third, no matter how much Diaz chases someone around the cage and puts his triathlon experience to good use, that mileage is not going to count towards any kind of love on the judges’ scorecards. This is all stuff that we learned on Saturday night, when we were promised nonstop, pulse-pounding action and instead got a big dose of “I eschewed Dungeons & Dragons night for this?!”

Then there’s the little fact that, if, by hook or by crook, Diaz had won the decision, talk of an immediate rematch would’ve been shushed with a quickness. Because why the hell would the UFC want to upset the best laid plans of mice and men, plans they’d laid out that involved the “villainous” Diaz taking on the “heroic” Georges St. Pierre with a fair amount of pay-per-view cheese (i.e., dollars) for everyone? The answer is, no way would the UFC want that. Diaz vs. St. Pierre was the money match all have been clamoring for, and if a razor-thin decision in favor of the Stockton Bongmaster was what it took to make it happen, so be it. But once Condit got the maddening decision nod, then came the talk – talk that gravitated towards White practically assuring us this was something the fans wanted, and that it was just about a done deal. Phooey on that. The UFC wanted to milk a rematch, and hopefully get the Diaz/St. Pierre matchup back on track. What fans (myself included) wanted after UFC 143 was over was their money back.

Which leads us to the last point of this discussion, the “give us a freakin’ break” part of why Diaz vs. Condit II would’ve been bad. When BJ Penn lost the decision to Frankie Edgar the first time around (at UFC 112), the Hawaiian got an immediate mulligan (at UFC 118). Sure, there was likely a rematch clause somewhere in Penn’s contract that was the impetus behind the redo, but so what? We got a rematch between Penn and Edgar, and the second time around the wrestler from New Jersey beat Penn even worse than before. Think we want to see Condit do the five-round Riverdance with Diaz? No way. Give us – all of us, including Diaz and Condit – a break. Diaz lost, let’s move on with our lives.

In a way, it’s good that Diaz put his fate in the hands of a bag full of Chronic and smoked his career like some cheap Skunk Weed. At least this way, it’s out of White and the UFC’s control. Now Diaz’s rematch with Condit doesn’t get to happen until the Nevada State Athletic Commission is done blazing.